couldnt sleep

so i made a blog just for my stupid drawings.

please to check it out. yes?

i have it listed: It's me or the Hot Dog.
[http://www.hoursaftermidnight.blogspot.com]


thank you,
.the management.

the sounds, sweating, the stinging, and other s words.

[all pictures have been moved]


hello monday afternoon. aren't you pretty. blazing texas sun and squirrels dancing around beams of light to avoid catching on fire. i'm pretty sure i could bitch about the heat everyday. and im almost positive i will. i hate my dad right now for buying this leather chair knowing his air conditioner is SHIT. thanks dad.

hello monday evening. your no better, wipe that smug look off your face.

ok so it took me like an hour to draw that shitty picture. [ of me and the hot dog] embarrassed.

i also did matt and jon.
[but im proud of those... i think i really got them]

people have such interesting faces. i love the looks and the lines and the eyelashes. they give out such power. i love the way matthew always looks so pissed+ complacent+sad. and jon has the sharp edges on his face of a man with a heavy mind and the eyes that always seem to say, you know your pretty fucking stupid.

theyre just plain fun to draw. even in the dirty wavering hand of mind.

even with this mind wrecking headache.

i sent the dolls another one of toms pictures. i hope they respond. they set up a page of art that they couldnt identify. i didnt see his. its a little disappointing to see the other artists and know that tom is so much better.
he needs the boost. needs to hear how amazing he is when he just draws. but he hasnt drawn anything in months. its really quite sad.

ah well.

its too hot to go on.

im gonna go sweat now.

eew.

better

tom is coming over.
i cant wait to see him for some reason and i just saw him yesterday.

i put the rabbit out on her line today. its cute. shes digging and running and i'm sure that she doesn't even realize shes on a leash, which could be sad if you put it into some kind of context.
i want sushi.
i want christmas.
i want symbols of happiness and a sense of full.

mostly i want scrabble and someones ass to wipe the board with.

maybe a tattoo gun so me and tom can open our business.

today i want to be a tattoo artist.
yesterday i wanted to sew pretty clothes.
tomorrow i think ill paint a mural.

im exhausted. a little drained from being sick and angry and other such uncontrollable things.
i should lie down. and wait.
maybe the realization does come like a ton of bricks. subtle was always a stupid color anyway.

sorry mister

but it looks like i made you take me to work just to have me come right back home. ive set up my easel in the back room. ive downloaded a few songs. ive got 6 cigarettes left. ive got a can of cold ravioli. im fucking set to have a fucking day.
its all ive got right now. thom yorke and a fucking dead brain. its all ive got to work with at this lovely moment in time. here in this back room. with its filtered light and shitty fan. im blogging now but in a minute im gona fucking dive headfirst into some pastel dust and maybe try a new take on my art. havent done a collage in a while. havent done very much of anything in a while. my thoughts walk like the lame when i just come from cubicle land, though, and i feel my fingers already, lost in their own lack of practice.
god. there is alot pushing back there. in that happy space behind the eyes. so much to say, and no where to start.
i want it all to come out right fucking now!
[instant gratification for 1, table for 2, please]
i hear voices behind doors, i feel the explanations evading, heres me misinformed.
fuck.
this is too much for me to think about. too much to fret over. drama and all its fucked glory can suck a cock today. im going to draw and dance to the strokes/the new young pony club/against me!.

i think it only fitting that i be happy today. i want to be.

lets see what i can create.