Melting into this

I am going insane

Is this how it feels? Just like it always does.

Familiar and safe. Spinny. Shaky.

I give in, close my eyes, lean back.

Hey you.

Touch me and disappear.  

down slide

I'm being pressed to the ground. It's too much weight. My brain hisses and groans. The idea flits to me like a buzzing insect. Maybe it will always be this hard, always be this scary, forever be me gripping with fatigued finger tips. Flight or flight, anxiety shakes through me and my heart races as I take my pills. I'm afraid. I'm so very afraid.