thats what i get

this is my last blog of the day swear.
not that you mind.
youre here arent you?

i tried to do something helpful today and failed. im very i dont know, sad? about this. people ask me why i always ask for help with things. they say do things for yourself stephanie. you can your an a-dult now missy. good for you. now go on.
sigh. ive never been one to listen.
[i wonder if he was just having a really good dream.]
bah.
there was woman in dennys tonight. she was fucking talking and talking. jeezus. i know everything about her alchoholic sister, her fucked up nephew and the fact that she paid an unholy price for them to fly down for her grandfathers funeral or SOME shit. ah well some people you know and so on.
i didnt get to see dawnelle today. this makes me feel tired and weary. shes like my little battery charger, and im the sick little double A in the fridge desperately hanging on after years of use.
[just cause you feel it doesnt mean its there.]
[i must keep reminding myself of this i must]
oops mixed my lyrics. shame shame.
haha.
im supposed to go see people tonight. but im going to stay in. im sorry everyone. im not in a very social mood. im in a dark room mood. a cigarette mood. a nothing much mood. dont take it personally folks, its just. well its just. i seem to hate going outside and contact today.
[there there]
what the hell? where is all this coming from. i need to write a short story soon, i have several ideas. most of them could pan into something good. maybe ill start work on that tonight. or maybe tomorrow. im off tomorrow. yea. then.

look for it.