8.9.07

god complex

i feel fucking GOOD.

im drunk and halfway to sleepy time.
im full.
im happy.
im danced out.
im complex.
im all things considered.
im this.
we are men.
men is what we are.
tonight was us.
tonight was drinks and beautiful angels waiting to be forgotten.
tonight was movement and total recall.
[without the shitty story line]

right now i can tackle goliath.
right now i can tell god to fucking eat a dick.
right now i can fill his role and make the world happy.
right now i am on top of the whole universe thing.
and i just sing quietly to myself.
i feel the smoke on my skin and save the numbers to the phone.
i abandon the pointless things that are envy.
i tell her shes pretty.
i tell him hes all the same.
i forget the same ol same ol.
i smile at that fact.
there are times we become as humans.
where we give the great and unquestionable fuck you to all that is silly and weak.
this.
this is my turn.
my chance.
my words.
i may be drunk.
sure
but in the end its just me the narcissistic corrupted masochistic fucked the fuck up girl who cant go one day without blogging and eating a ramen.
[heres me feeling lucky]
[heres me feeling happy just with myself]
[heres me feeling on top of the proverbial world]
[heres me]
[at ease]
sigh.
time for sleep.

by the way i am now stephanie the housekeeper.
well see how the new job goes.
well see how it all turns out.

as for anything after...
i only think in days.
tomorrow for instance.
industry anyone?

lets hope so.......


sleep comes.
deep, dark and pleasant.
complacent to fear. brave against prejudice.
it comes.
and i welcome it.



night

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