a letter

dear joey.

hey baby.
its me your big sister, writing you from here. from a place you may remember. what am i saying. you havent even been gone long.
the whole family is here sweetie. see us? your birthday is tomorrow after all. we even got you a cake. one of the ones i always said were too sweet, but you always used to love. i even made dip.
how are you?
are you ok?
i cant stop thinking about things we should be doing right now little brother.
you would have been 21 tomorrow.
i should be taking you to bars.
i should be showing you the ropes.
you should be laughing with me and my friends and being irresponsible with us.
i should be buying you cds and taking you to spurs games.

i shouldnt be holding rosary beads and trying not to cry in front of mom and dad.

god i miss you.

if you can hear me please know i love you joseph.

its really hard down here when my better half isnt available to make me smile and take me out of my dark places. you were always the only one who could. like me to you and your sickness.
its hard.

anyway.

just hug our mom and try to find the dog. theyll take care of you.

i love you baby.

-your big sister.