post

i have lost my plurals.
the s's are falling from the ends of my words.

great.

somehow the cold weather isnt as soothing as it once was for a much younger stephanie. she used to love buying mittens and curling into balls in bed. now im outside without a jacket with a crooked mouth and cigarette in hand trying to wish away the wind. its too cold for this. this testing of my body and resignation of mind. im careless. too forgiving. silly. jesus, the years have not been kind to me and now the fading memories are making me sick and sad.

i need
-tea. hot and minty and calming.
-friends. who dont bail at the first sign of the storm and hold my head when i question existence.
-nicotine patches.
-textbooks on how to deal with being 23 in a low lit city full of fools.
-something sharp.
-his voice again.
-antacid.



please please please.

make this ok again.

but no ones reading and im still scheduled to work all night.


oh boy.