#bodyfail

my whole body hurts. its been the mood lately. the down. it hasnt been so bad.
i just quit smoking, again.
maybe ill go for a run tomorrow.
its been a while. im getting too soft again.


last night the dream was in and out. i couldnt stay asleep for longer than a few minutes. and even then i was restless. i only remember
jogging
a bus
streets and a man following me
the bar i found when i got lost
a girl pouring orange juice on her self
and finally being found
huh i could swear there was something more. i have the residual dream homesickness i always have when something was really good. but i dont have any images to back this up. maybe it was nothing.

im not looking forward to work today. something about the last few days has made me pull in to myself. how do you explain that to people you really just barely know? answer: you dont. although tonight is one of my favorite nights now. a now familiar and comforting gorup, even that one grumpy one. well see. maybe after i just wont come home. i did promise a visit to someone. jose is very understanding of my runaways. i should remember this. not take it too far. jumping ahead now.

sore and still half asleep i must get ready for work.

urg.