17.1.10

i just dont know

about all of this sometimes. today im all tears and frantic motions. hold it together. cant you breathe. huff huff huff huff. gasp.

im no good at talking to you face to face. im all quivers when i have to take a stand its too hard to deal with these adult situations its too much to tell you what youre doing wrong im too scared of all the repercussions im a coward ok? happy now?

and i ran away from there so fast i swear my shadow stayed behind.

its no one specific, its EVERYONE. every other breathing soft thing. ugh i kick myself when im safe at home, practicing what i should have said in the bathroom, saying you are 24 what the hell is this shit. youre so strong here what happens outside? and i stop and look at my own face in the mirror and the bewildered dog at my feet and sigh.

i need bed. and national geographic. and tea. and him.

goodnight internet.

3 comments:

s.k.namanny said...

At least you're able to face yourself. And be strong with yourself.
Or . . . must it be asked: if you are truly strong with your reflection, surely that strength will carry over?
The mirror image gives us a free pass sometimes. Which weakens.

s.k.namanny said...

Good one, by the way.

.när'sĭ-sĭz'əm. said...

i hope it'll carry over... one day.


hmph.