quitting smoking was supposed to be harder than this but i think i found the key... pressure. there is no lacking of it here and now, as i try to please adrians family and seem good enough for their son. haha, seems ridiculous. not having a drink on the weekends, not grabbing a smoke in this absolutely amazing weather. (it snowed today, so beautiful) but i guess it's good for me..... right?
chugging energy drinks, making another pot of coffee. tell me caffeine is better than nicotine. one vice for another.
sometimes i wake up scared in the night because i don't know where i am.
and the nightmares are back, i think. all i know is i'm waking up sweating and out of breath.
i'm going to start logging again, they are starting to flee as soon as i wake up, and it's taking it's toll on me. i miss my dreams.
my goals for the immediate:
-drink more tea, green preferably
-craft, craft, craft
-learn spanish so i can actually have a conversation with the people here
-get a JOB
-establish myself, maybe meet some new people
-get over this damn homesickness...
let's do it.