30.5.07

blog blog blog. i am stephanie and i blog.

so the night is leading up to morning now and im here at the computer again.
jobless.
yessir ive lost the old job. west has decided im not worthy to take reservations anymore. and im left at home with a few to little ideas about what to do. of course finding another job is in order. of course ill have to keep the plans i ad. of course.
its just another thing after all.
just another thing to dance around and fight.
but hey.
life and that whole saying eh?

another thing. well many other things come to my mind here. the amusing twinge is in my head, with all its plays and drama.

[i didnt want to hurt you baby but your pretty when you cry]
[i didnt want to fuck you but your pretty when your mine]
[i didnt really love you baby but im pretty when i lie]


ive been hurting lately. biting skin and asking questions. keeping up with the old/lost friends and lovers. never openly, always lurking. but forever feeling like ive been missing out. always feeling like im the one that let everyone down. and its been years. sometimes. for others its been less, but the pain hasnt been. its seems that im a big fan off punishment. and i do it to myself alot. everyday at that.

wonderful.

the meaning i was trying to find here has left me.

and we're off for coffee.


hmm

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