unsaid

there are things i want to tell people.
certain things.
things-
that may muck things up.
things that may sever bonds.
that may make people blush
that may make people take me less seriously
or more seriously, depending on the person.

i dont know. ive been in this life changing phase. [this state of realization] and ive been seeing people for the first time. noticing that i miss things that were. ive made some bad choices before. ive lied. and misled. ouch. and am i fooling myself when i play the ive got it all figured out big head complex? do i really have the answers to questions and confession that have never left my lips? maybe i am being fooled.

i just want to tell you.
this....

i deserve people like that. i need people like that. but part of me is holding up the yellow sign marked danger and im a gullible one.

i could make someone really happy.

if i wasnt such a coward.