Monday, September 24, 2007

quick quick quick quick

if she finds me here ill be done for.
and im not ready yet.

dreamt last night finally.
it was mostly me bleeding from a vacant black space in my stomach.
i tried to hold myself together.


and i just couldnt.

somehow i stood and walked. somehow i saw there was a chance for me to make it somehwere. as i walked i looked up and down the walls. things were under the paper. [things.]
moving and squishing and leaving greasy lipstick tracks. hooker lips and the wrong shade of nail polish comes to mind here.
i wasnt doing so good.
in my hands i feel something fall out of me. it mets out a small cry. it leaves blood on my fingers. i dont look at it. i try not to look at it.

then i woke up. i had only been asleep and hour.
tom was already out.
and the lights and the trains outside did little to comfort me.

im ok now. just a little shaken.

[by the way tonight im going to a halo party. fucking woo. i hate videogames. blarg.]

cancer time. [like hammer time but without the dayglo]

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