lately

I am
-trying not to feel bad about anything i did to him. not even feeding the dumpster his junk.
-attempting to slay the stafford dragon of sallie mae to in turn rescue the damsel that is my education and future.
-laughing at the last line.
-trying to explain to my mother what a BLOG is.
-starving, shaking and smoking too much today. those commercials were right depression hurts.
-missing my dog. shes right here and we both seem to know she cant come home with me.
-worried about tom. hes working too hard. supporting me. trying to find a way to love me when im so goddamned combative. hes a trooper. i love him in ways unknown to most.
-waiting to go home so i can finish that new painting. its so pretty. urrrg.
-dreaming of women. alot.
-tired.

ive been trying so hard to get work. lets hope im successful soon. we finally got cable. i am now a hermit. too much americas next top model marathons. their ruining my life. good eats, no reservations, project runway. kill me kill me kill me.

heres to the stomachache and the headache.

heres to the chipping nail polish on my fingers and giselles pictures from another country with the works of my idol. heres to the acrylic on my jeans. yes i am one of those girls.

i should have said thanks career point. then i wouldnt have to be so poor. just embarrassed.

hah. what an ending.