harumph [grumblings]

i hate being out.
nothing new, just the same, salt and white rice, boring.
and the freakin children!
yeesh.
where is it, that deeper thing? that wonderful burn? that sickening twist and turn and questions and effort. maybe it was the group of teenagers i was walking behind today, maybe the way they talked, like a different language, unappealing and full of sharp notes and the stupidest most assinine subject matter. i used to be those girls maybe, sure, maybe. but fuck. hee hee look at us! boys! so cute! oMg what will we do for like 3 hours? whats a man hole? ew! the bus no way like call that dude from yesterday!
where are they? interesting people have to be Somewhere...?
[maybe im just too picky.... but....]
its exhausting. straight up exhausting to be outdoors lately.
to be around people and not scream and run away.
this is my i will fulfill my destiny as a spinster slash cat lady.
its makes sense.

i better learn how to knit.