30.9.09

meanie

woke up at 4 last night (yes i was actually sleeping) and walked into the kitchen and into a shouting match i wasn't prepared for. my gem of a roommate, a classy baby factory of a girl decided she's had enough! goodness did i move her sodas in the fridge over an inch? did i really put the clean dishes away wrong??? how dare i? honestly we've been at each others throats for a while but i have always just thought let her be stephanie she's an idiot a cunt a brash child and she doesn't know any better but now i'm a little pissed off. she yells at me for moving her shampoo out of MY shower caddy to make room for MY stuff, she stomps and pouts when i finally do laundry for the week and she of course decides that's exactly when she should too, she cries and screams to her boyfriend and they fight because i'm going out during the weekend and they're taking care of unplanned newborn spawn. and you know i have a door and a com and cable and a car so its easy to blow this off but lately shes been taking chances. throwing out phrases like you dont have the right to do this, you dont understand what its like to have nice things etc etc. i really think she thinks i WON'T punch her in the face. oof. silly girl, you cannot be this cruel and stupid and not be punished. i'm sorry. and yes i'm searching the streets for duplexes and new rooms, and i'm getting the fuck out of here, sure, but how is it this angry for nothing ignorant little thing can exist? in the easiest life too. pop out a baby and snag a dumb guy and you can just lay back and shit your life away. she should teach a class on it. hrmph. i just can't sneak around my house avoiding her like this. it makes me feel like a wuss, when in reality im a touch meek and mostly too gentle to really fight.

its conflicting.

but then i pause and its like-

she angers me but i'm still better off. i always think about it. i'm not tethered and my boyfriend doesn't secretly hate me, i love to share my groceries and you can put your clothes in with mine sure, i laugh when you spill something and help you clean it, and i will never tell you what your rights are, as a person i know you are one too, i am in no way rich but i'll give you money for gas and take you to eat, i love others, but you really have to be the right type of other.

can you imagine me on craigslist?

wanted: good people. to live with, to go out with, to read books with, to have coffee with, to dance with, and to scrabble with. <3

see. i'm sure it would work. and i'm sure ya'll are out there. and now, i feel better.

1 comment:

s.k.namanny said...

It was Damon Wayans who said (to David Letterman): I'm a people person. But people ruin that.