24.9.09

seattle weather

has surprised us all here in san antonio. its actually cold. rainy. wonderful. ha, our weathermen try to prepare us, they say dont get used to it, the familiar terrible heat comes back next week etc, but for now its sweaters and tea and books on the porch and the ac sits silent.
lovely.
had a dream last night but cant grab details. one of those things where if i start to write ill lose it almost immediately. all i remember is that there was a huge bar (almost shaped like the bonham, but how you you know what that was) it was two stories and it was packed. me and friends and my people from work were lost in this crowd and i had to find all of them one by one to deliver little messages. there were people in clothes that had christmas lights in them, some were holding fish (yes they were dead), and come were playing video games that lined the entrance wall. it was dizzying, there were so many people and all of them were being drunk and strange.
oh well better luck describing the next one lady. haha.
a friend of mine seems to have fallen in love with someone. its tricky and terrifying, but to her its more floaty and addicting. all new love is. if they could bottle that butterfly storm in your stomach i ache when you arent here i cant wait take me now now now feeling im sure everyone would buy it. just stay home and trip on it. anyway. so she meets this girl now in life and falls. there are catches of course, snags in the mature life she already has trailing behind her. things you cant just walk away from. but she thinks wait knows that this woman is what she wants. when she told me i was drunk, so of course i was all about taking it. real life and consequences disappear when you drink, everything is simply romantic and you can do anything and youre not scared anymore. (probably why me and the guys have such moving convos) but anyway. i told her that if this is what she wants then thats all that matters, throw the blinders on - take whats hers!! conquer! ha. its juts now im wondering if that was a good idea. is that the adult in me? im 24 this sat and maybe i shouldnt be so careless with my advice. :/ but thats not like me, i always have a moulin rouge sense of mind. im so confused. but all i could think the next day was about what she has now. her family, her life. and what if this is lust, but what if it IS love and now i just dont know. i dont like doubt. it tastes bad, especially when it comes to something so important in life. i need time to think on this. hrm.
work beckons. i should go.

dear san antonio weather, right now i love you. but only for your rain and breeze. when the heat comes back ill be thinking of other cities everytime you touch me.
-stephanie

1 comment:

s.k.namanny said...

At some point, the love question might age. How does it remain so vibrant?
"Chapter one again, here I go again, I found a fountain of youth and I fell in." (said Morrissey)

It's the fountain of youth, and we all fall in whenever we can. Or we want to.

The question of whether we should or not somehow fails to make itself pertinent.