and marty just stares at me

finally. day off.
psssh. like i don't have months off every year or anything. i am greedy when it comes to time.

i've been in a very good mood lately. think its because of the boy. i don't know what is different this time or why it's working all of a sudden but damn it i'm very much in love. hm. i'm thankful to have someone who takes care of me and loves me like him. it hasn't been easy by any means, i mean try having an angry bipolar artist/lazy bum for a girlfriend. i'm very complicated. and so is he. the beginning was crazy rocky. i left him for a while. but i couldn't not see him, i was connected already by then he was all i saw when i thought of love, holding hands, sex, and friendship. and now we have our little home, our dog, our life. and he brings balance. he brings happiness. he kisses me and tells me that im beautiful when im caught in manic anxiety or crying and useless in bed. he drags me outside, to parks, on walks with the dog, to his moms house, to dinner. he knows just how to make me feel whole, and productive. he encourages my art, says he is inspired by it. and i love watching him on his bike. he has a warm soul. and i love him. last night he said his love for me is like the universe - expanding endlessly. i was 14 again except this time i found the prince charming i never found then.
its all so nice.

strange.

now if only i could address my fear of other people. haha. he still gets confused when i kick and scream at the mention of shopping malls.

my new dog is amazing. marty. he is the coolest little dropped dog ever. i swear he has a voice like morgan freeman. and he is staring at me right now. we have been spoiling the living shit out of this creature, he eats like every hour. and he always tries to sneak into bed. sweetheart. he hates cats but i can get past that.

heh.

[i keep messing with the gaping hole in my mouth. gross]


it's been whirl windy. i swear i don't recognize me. i'm sure i'll be someone else tomorrow. but today is my day off so i'm easy.

time to watch nat geo with the dog.