last nights dream was short and packed in with very confusing shit, let me tell you, dont know what was wrong with the brain but she was moving.
i cant even grab all of it.
i swear i was only asleep for an hour...
the part i can remember is the last part. but in the beginning im sure i faintly remember
-boats, HUGE boats, and a town floating out in the middle of nowhere
-a child bartender
-fish tanks full of goldfish
the ending was a little more grounded, hah, i guess. i was in my first house here in san antonio, the house we moved in when we first got here when i was young. but now im a grown woman, much older than i am now i think. and i have children. (shudder) so i know ive been walking for the last few hours i feel memories, dream memories, of a campus of some kind, with alot of ivy. i also see a mans face, hes angry. im in the house now and i hear a banging on the front door its the man i know it i start to shake and try to find places to hide while grabbing up my children, who i really cant see clearly. hmp. now the banging is getting louder and im building a wall down the middle of the house cutting off the back from the front, working mind blowingly fast. i think i have a husband he must be near me somewhere holding the kids. just as im getting to the the last upper left corner i hear the man get through the door just as my youngest child throws herself into my arms. the mans upper body thrusts through the unfinished part of the wall and hes screaming. i start to tell him please i tried, i did what you asked please dont i have a family. he is still screaming when he shoots me in the head twice and then unloads into the room wildy. i dont lose consciousness, im on the floor, i dont feel my child moving. i look over and see a man in the floor near me. i blink and now we are all laying in the porch of this house. still bleeding, waiting to die. but now there is movement, everywhere. in the street facing the house cars are piling in parking. people are getting out, its almost like a party. directly across the street is my grandmothers house (in real life too) and i look for her. i feel dull pain all over and still, the tiny thing in my arm doesnt move. i see people coming out of my grandmas house, women who look mannish. short hair, cutoff sleeves, etc. i call to her, where is she i need help. please. im sleepy. finally i see an ambulance. a large man steps up to us. he says let me have her, i need to help her. and now im saying ive been stabbed. im so confused none of this makes sense. as im saying ive been stabbed i see the baby he pulls away from me, i thought she was older, shes tiny, with a hole dripping blood and gaping on her side. i start to scream. now my grandma walks up, dressed in a beautiful lace dress, stark white. shes laughing and she touches my hand and tells me to stand up. i say im hurt. shes says its not so bad. so i get up and walk to the ambulance. inside i see a small plastic tub full of blankets and what i think is my baby. the man says how old is she i say 1 to 2 years i dont know shes small. i look in the tub and start to reach for her but now shes not a baby shes a puppy. (??!!HUH??!!) i pet the puppy and see there is tape wrapped around parts of it body. i look down and see holes in mine. i start to pass out and wake up.
jose is telling me goodbye i love you text me.
and im left in bed wide eyed and breathing hard and reaching for where i think my spleen is.
THAT was fucking weird.
i honestly dont know.
gonna think it over today.