14.6.11

passion in violent acts [in dreams]

i killed someone in my dream the other night, it was terrible and ferocious and i was shocked at how fast and intense the whole thing was.
something was happening in a store with a huge glass front. an argument, some accusation, i dont know...

i remember-

-everyone was wearing white and khaki at one point, as though we were in school, in uniform.
-shelves with little statues and jewelry.
-the person [male?] i was confronting was standing in front of me and i was so angry. we were circling each other and the people around us were yelling for us to stop. i yelled "he skinned that boy alive he has to pay!" then i lunged and stabbed.
-after people started to leave. they walked around the dead body. i laid down with another person and we put our legs up against the wall. he hands me a bubble wrap skirt and i pull it on. he says his assistant got it for me. mari.
-i look out the window, all the people leaving are covered in blood. i can feel the sticky warmth on me, but i cant see it.

in fact all of my dreams are becoming overtly sexual and violent. i dont know why, these phases happen in my sleep.

last night in fact there was a murder and sex. ???

points:

-i had moved into a dorm like apt complex that was tall and square spare on side, which slanted down steeply. it was futuristic in that the architecture was smooth and mono colored, with beautiful balconies and plants all over. small efficient rooms, and elevators. tvs in the hallway. it was very interesting.
-it felt like i was moving in with a family, but i could never really see them. most of the people living in the dorm were young and attractive.
-i wake up in the dream and go to my balcony, its dark and there are cops cars surrounding the lower floor. a man is behind me telling there has been a murder. i get the chills, seeing images of a strangled woman in my head. i go back inside.
-later im on the balcony taking pictures of it with a camera i have to hold up to my eye. its still very dark out. i'm taking a picture of a tree limb that leans into the balcony when the zoom begins to act up. as the camera flashes i see a mans face looking at me from over the limb. i freak out and run inside.
-now we're leaving me and a small group of people, we walk to a house a mile or so away and i look back and take in the image of the tall geometrical building i live in. we get to the little house and go upstairs. everything is cream carpet and buttery furniture. men and women talk to me. i go into the bathroom and put on a lacy very revealing dress and everyone is fucking outside of the bathroom i can hear them, so i sit on the toilet and play with some makeup ive found.
-later i walk out everyone is gone and a man walks up to me and tells me i look amazing and we walk home, crawl into bed and i fall into sleep in the dream and awaken in real life.

i miss my dreams. deeply. my stomach aches when i think about them. nothing could feel look like flow so smoothly be so colorful in real life.

sigh.

if only i could stay.

1 comment:

s.k.namanny said...

Wait, that old myth says that if you die in your dream . . . etc.

I've always wondered what happened if you KILL in your dream.

I guess you wake up.

dang. Sleep ain't doing us no favors.