21.3.12

alright, just calm the fuck down.

yikes, sometimes things just spin on a tiny angle.
what am i talking about, thats all the time with me. im always spinning it seems. somehow ive tricked myself into thinking the sickness is gone but maybe its just sleeping. ugh i have heartburn and a raging jealousy for something that doesnt even breathe and could never surpass. im angry. and now i have a drivers license. great. of course i want to flee and find solace. why does everyone else get to do whatever the fuck they want and i have to stay in a little white box. clean and silent. shhh. rage. yes, its there and steady. warm and familiar. the usual way i say hello to it. calmly and with strong eye contact.
the people around me never knew me then. i was anonymous for the most part, then i rolled up my sleeves and i became curious, interesting, pathetic. to different types, in different shades. what the fuck am i doing? why am i back here?


i dont even know. im off to find the time for a smoke and settle the fuck down.

2 comments:

radioisfree said...

Don't settle: the fuck down nor any iteration of it. I don't know why you are in Nebraska and I can't ask anyone 'cause they don't know you like I don't know you

s.k.namanny said...

"No one in the world ever gets what they want, and that is beautiful. Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful." (they might be giants.)