she wakes up

at 6 pm. she hears nothing in the house around her, nothing at all. memories from earlier in the morning come to her. something about bridal boutiques and harsh words. maybe something about money. She rolls over quickly, suddenly awake….. but ….. Fuck, that's right, she doesn't have a job anymore. The late afternoon dreams are ok to have now. they come better after 4 anyway. Lucky her. End sarcasm. She gets up. A day unfolds and she takes every advantage, takes a few punches and fights for a state of ease.

I stood in parking lot full water and wondered where my mind had gone.

Tonight was interesting to say the least. We struggled to find things. We were antsy and energetic, yet thoughtful and somber. We were the epitome of "I don't know", yet we needed to do something.

Finally we went to the park. The park that ive written about here before the beautiful peninsula and the calming water. out there, with the nature and whatnot. the frogs singing and the ducks laughing. the city shining. at a distance. The moon almost full and the talk of people from our pasts. We drank, we laughed. Then. The cops came. We were questioned and we made shadow puppets out of the lights they shone on us. the other folks at the lake got tickets, we just got a goodnight and good luck. we were fishing after all. heh.

"watch out for those indie kids in the park after hours. Listening to sad music and cutting themselves…."

We left.

After wards we went to abes old pool at the old place. We swam and drank more. I was feeling light headed now, and wondering why the water was so soft. Yea. Jon and abe then decided to dunk me about 10 times consecutively. The flurry of water and the gaps of sky i caught between led to a I heart huckabees moment of existential proportions. I saw things coming, I felt things leaving and I held things standing near. If only for a second or two between breaths.

Afterwards I stole a plant from the bathroom.

on the way home i sat in the back, quiet and still a little wet. cool but refreshed. i held my head near the window and felt the wind wrap itself around my entire body, heard it whoosh whoosh whooshing past my ears and for a moment i could have slept there in that place, safe and fast as it was. with my hair flicking me awake every other second or so.

And I am now home.

Sleeeeeepy.

A day.

My day.

by me.