again

just a little more from me today. its just that i havent had the opportunity to really write in a little while. well a while. i miss it. the keys the topics and naming the little scraps of day that i have to put down on these online journals.
so feel good.
i WAS just going to write in my blogspot.
and yes.
i have a blogging addiction. i am ok with this.

today was basically the most confusing day ive had in a long time. a long fucking time. too many things are happening and breaking apart. ive fallen into my art with a passion i havent known before mostly because i dont want to think anymore. i just want to ... well you know. get it out. everyday i sleep till 3. nothing new except for the longing i have for it. its not that im lazy. i just love my REM. i need my dreams. i need my escapes. i havent wanted to work but ive been going out alot lately. ive been dancing with a ferocity and a need that i usually dont have. bucking back drinks and laughing at things that no one else notices. i just watch the people. they dance and they dance and and they sway in their dizzy heads and touch in the worst of places. but their beautiful and unique and i love them. im fucking rambling. this is annoying. i love to go back and read the times i fall from the set path of writing but most of it is so obvious and lame. at least i think so. blarg. i need to find a job maybe and a have coffee with someone new.

i need so much.

and getting what i need is getting harder and harder.